The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
