How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize