yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I am spending my child support on dildos
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
