i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
