did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
