I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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