Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
