And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
