im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
