so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
where does the pee come out of this thing
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
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