Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize