She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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