I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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