I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
