yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
