Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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