Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
