is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
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