You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
