definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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