When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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