wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
