Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
