The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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