I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
