I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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