Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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