Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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