can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize