we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
