so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
