Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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