So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
