Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Of course I have a pirate flag
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
