I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
That's how pantless uber rides happen
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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