Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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