tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
