We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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