gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
