Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
