Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Hippo gnu deer
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
