I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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