i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I've blown a few things in my day
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
