if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
