Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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