i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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