I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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