you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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