This girl is more easily done than said...
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
