Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
im six kinds of drunk right now
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
