somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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