WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize