I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
and you fell through a lawn chair
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
