no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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