It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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