Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
