question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
