i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
just found out that she named her cat after me.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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