i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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