so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
