What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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