You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I'm just crazy horny about you
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
