Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
