Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
