I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
