i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize