He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize