Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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