I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
