Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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